Perhaps it was in High School, I wasn’t paying attention then and can’t recall, but certainly in college I remember hearing that there was a French phrase for orgasms that meant ‘Little Deaths” and thinking how interesting and poetic a metaphor it was.  In that sense, we have been having a lot of orgasms down here on the farm lately. I have come to think of them in that way at least.

I was recounting some of our more recent setbacks to a friend the other day and she stopped me with a sad look and said, “Don’t get discouraged, you guys can do it.”  I thought to myself, ‘Of course we can do it, what do you mean discouraged?” But then I suppose when you look at the list all at once it could be read as discouraging.

Since Watson’s death a mere month ago, my wife wrecked her car, our Drake went missing and was probably eaten by a fox, we lost our only remaining brown Guinea Hen to what I think was an Owl, there has been a major illness and a major accident in my family, one of our sheep was chased by a dog and frantically smashed her face into a tree ripping off part of her lip and causing herself to go permanently blind, my car died and is unrecoverable, our local bank has decided not to extend us a line of credit for the farm (which we were counting on) and to top it all off my wife had a cancer scare just last week which wonderfully turned out to be false.

Perhaps I have grown a thicker skin since the original setbacks in our first few months but the French phrase, La Petite Mort (The Little Death) as applied to orgasms can only mean death in the sense of rebirth which is how our little deaths and set backs on the farm feel these days. When confronted by impediment I am filled with emotion, there is an expenditure of energy, a rush, beginning with a weakening and ending in a fortitude –a new energy and desire to pick up the fallen rubble and build the wall again and stronger.

It has occurred to me that these little deaths and the sense of rebirth they bring are somehow timely with Easter only a few months away.  It is a reminder that our sufferings are small and circumstantial, I mean we would not have any of these problems were we not endeavoring something so great.  I guess that’s why I was a little shocked to hear my friends’ encouragements, for we have lost nothing save paying the price of entry upon our new enterprise.

Things are good these days. Moving the pigs last week was a blast. I promised a post about this but my wife covered it so much better than I could have in her blog:

http://homegrowed.wordpress.com/2011/02/15/moving-day/

I am not saying we want more Farm Orgasms, just that they happen and when they do we are phased a bit, we lay there and smoke our cigarette but then we get up and move on refreshed and ready to try harder. And that’s just life on the Farm…at least so far.

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